A very elderly gentleman and his equally elderly wife shuffled shakily with difficulty but dignity, into our shop to look at the cards. Finally, they chose one, and the gent slowly and carefully brought it over to us at the counter. “I like this one,” he said, “it has a naval connection”! The card was a bright and cheerful birthday one, with a nice design that had nothing at all to do with the sea, so Tony and I looked puzzled. The man then said with a twinkle in his eye, “turn it over and you will see what I mean”. We did as he said, and there on the back was printed ‘this card is by Belly Button Designs’!!! He well and truly got us…

A lady came into Guru today, looked Tony up and down and asked “do you have crystal balls?”

This was what she meant!!!

It puts us in mind of last Christmas, when someone enquired of the poor lad “do you have a chocolate willie!!!

Surely there’d be no-where to pin this?

Some friends came into Guru today asking if we had seen the streaker who ran along High Row and then past our shop, before being apprehended by the police.

These friends added that many of the shopkeepers had come out of their shops to look and that a lady from one of the bakery stores on High Row had said: “oh dear I’ll never look at our sausage rolls the same again after seeing that!!!”

This is actually a very old joke, and I can hardly believe it was inadvertently reincarnated in a conversation in Guru today.

Tony said “don’t forget I have an appointment at the dentist’s on Monday at 2.30”.

Col started laughing and said “did he just say tooth hurty?”

Childish I know, but it cheered up a slow day…

Ray was talking about a tradesman who works for a firm called Nelson’s that he wanted to contact and asked “now what do the full name of that Nelson man?”

“Dela” said I…

(with apologies to the great man himself, who I am sure would have had a good sense of humour)

There was smoke coming from the waste bin outside Binns department store across the road from us.  Col said “I’ll take a cup of water over and put it out.

Tony piped up “if it’s Binns, it’s going to take a lot more than that…”

A few moments earlier prior to the intervention of Col and his cup of water, this bin (near Binns), was belching smoke’!!!

Ray (Beryl’s husband) was searching for a programmer to watch on TV. He said “let’s not watch ‘Life in Solitary’ as there won’t be many people in it”, then he added “oh no, there’s something about a terminator on too, so that’s the end of that…”!!!

Beryl was frantically searching in our shop for her ear-rings, and asked Tony if he’d seen them. “Yes” he said “you’re wearing them”!!!