Longtime customer was reminiscing to Beryl about the old days when Guru was in Court Arcade, and said “your mam was great.

I used to come out of the changing room wearing my own clothes which I’d bought from you weeks earlier, and she would say “you look good in that, you should buy it, so I would have to tell her I already had”!!!

Many people around here call their grandmother’s Nana so Guru stocks some birthday cards for Nana’s. We were talking about this fact and Tony told us that one of his grandmothers was known to him as ‘Nana Smith’ and the other one who was a very strange lady as ‘nutty Nana’.

Beryl said does that mean we should call you ‘Nutty Smith’? He laughed and said “no with my body the way it is “Nutty Slack”!!!

Tony told Beryl there was going to be a film on the TV called ‘The Invisible’.

Beryl said “I won’t be seeing that!”

Guru’s Beryl was serving a lady today, when the customer said “oh dear I have heartburn”, so quick as a flash Beryl produced a Remegel tablet from her pocket… The lady popped it in her mouth and exclaimed: “Oh thank you I feel so much better now, what a wonderful shop, not only do you sell people such lovely things but you cure their indigestion too!!!”

As we drove home tonight Beryl was waxing lyrical about the lovely weeping willows on the banks of the Skerne when a young bloke on a pedal bike rode under the canopy of one of them and had a wee… He thought no one would see him from the road but our Range Rover is quite high so we could.

Tony said, “oh look a toilet tree”!!!

I was telling everyone at work I’d seen a programme on TV about Pompeii, and the person narrating it commented that there were a staggering number of statues, paintings, graffiti etc., depicting phallic symbols and she wondered what the meaning of these many penis references might be? Col grinned and said “they were probably just saying “this is where the big knobs hang out’!!!

After making a couple of mistakes today Tony (who is completely bald), told us “I think I’m cracking up”. Kelly giggled and said “no Humpty Dumpty, you’re not…

A kind customer called Caroline brought a box of Quality Street choccies in for us today as a Christmas pressie for all the Guru’s – when she’d gone Tony said “she must be ‘sweet Caroline’

Libby called into Guru today and mentioned she had woken up the other morning and skipped” barefoot into my bathroom only to find it was flooded due to the snow thawing.

Beryl said, “how on earth do you manage to skip anywhere when you’ve just got up?”

Tony butted in with “Libby always ‘skips to the loo, my darling!!!

It’s definitely getting to us. Today in Guru Beryl counted some change out into a ladies hand, only trouble was she was paying with a credit card.

Then Tony tried to put a £20 note into the PDQ machine!!