Category Archives: Jokes, quotes & anecdotes

It’s said that life really is stranger than fiction.
Anyone who works in retail, hospitality, beauty, healthcare or any of the service industries where you deal with the general public on a daily basis will probably agree with that.
Just so you’ll know the kind of thing you may read here and who originated them, we’ve given them little identification tags of their own, which are as follows:
Smifffy Sez
Beryl’s Boobs
Col’s Contributions
Kelly’s Quips
Ray’s Ramblings
Guru’s Gaffe’s
Guru’s Giggles
Handy Tips
Smut Alert
Good Vibes
…and last but not least,
Memory Lane.

Good Vibes: Peace Man…


hippieDon’t confuse being posh, or rich or poor or anything else with having a bit of class. Class in this context is not about social standing, how you dress or what possessions you have, but about how a person conducts his or herself – and we could do with a bit more of it at all levels!!!
The most threadbare and humble amongst us often have it in bucketloads, so here’s to all the ‘class acts’ out there, whoever and wherever you are as you are much appreciated.


Good Vibes: National Tree-sures.

beautiful tree and sunset 002

We think trees are miraculous. The very finest examples of Mother Nature’s art. Some even say they have souls of their own and can sense things and feel emotion. We would like to believe so. The oldest ones have witnessed our history and are revered in Folklore. All we can really know is that they are beautiful and that many of them have grown to their present majesty over centuries.¬† They are high on the list of our own favourite things! Signed, the Gurus.




Smithy Sez: Eh?


We got a phone call tonight just as we were leaving work. Tony picked it up, and the person on the line told him she was from the Governments work records service¬†and said their records showed that there were people at this number who had previously worked in noisy industries, and added, “is this correct?”. With a wicked smile Tony replied, “can you speak up please, I can’t hear you”!!!

Smithy Sez: In-car Conversation…


The Gurus called at a convenience store tonight to buy booze. While they were waiting in the car for Beryl (who was in the shop), Tony said to Col, “have you seen that window, it’s got nothing in it but six toilet rolls, what a sh*t display”!!!
Then he saw a lady coming out of the shop¬†and commented “I know that person, she’s a friend of St Cuthbert’s”, meaning she helped the church with¬†fundraising, etc. He then¬†added, “I can hardly believe it mind, as she looks very well preserved if she’s that age”…

Beryl’s Boobs: Life Saver…


Beryl had everyone crying with laughter in the hospital (including herself), when trying to describe what Col had done to help someone who they had brought in because they had swallowed something that almost choked them. She was describing to the nurse what had occurred, and instead of saying the Heimlich manoever, said that Col had done the Hein Gericke movement on the patient!!! Hein Gericke of course is a brand of motorcycle clothing…