Beryl had everyone crying with laughter in the hospital (including herself), when trying to describe what Col had done to help someone who they had brought in because they had swallowed something that almost choked them. She was describing to the nurse what had occurred, and instead of saying the Heimlich manoever, said that Col had done the Hein Gericke movement on the patient!!! Hein Gericke of course is a brand of motorcycle clothing…
How naive is Beryl. She once asked Col’s poor dad George, who was dressed up as Guru’s Santa at the time, to deliver our Christmas card to our bank (Barlays on High Row). When he bowled in disguised like that they nearly called the police thinking it was a heist!!!
Every time we Gurus go to a gig at The Cluny (Ouseburn Valley, Newcastle), we pass this pub named The Ship, and Beryl always says “I wonder why it’s called ‘The Ship’, and not ‘The Sheep’???”
We were listening to a Christmas CD in Guru today, and Mario Lanza was singing Santo Natale, and Col said, “Shouldn’t that be Santa Claus?”
Beryl just put her reading glasses on – upside down!
D’oh!!!
Beryl tried to text okidoki to a friend, and her phone changed it to ok idiot!
This predictive text malarkey could land you in deep sh*t…
Lady in Guru asked if we still had a pack of a certain penguin Christmas card. Beryl looked for her, but the ones she found were not the ones she wanted. Then Tony found her a different pack, but they didn’t suit either, but instead of putting it back where he found it, he just dropped it at Beryl’s feet for her to pick up. “Oi, why did you do that?” Beryl asked. He cheekily replied “‘cos I thought you might like to ‘p-p-p-pick up a penguin”!!!
It was quiet in the town yesterday, and Beryl remarked to a friend that Guru’s Tony was “tearing his hair out”, then as an afterthought added “oh, but he didn’t have any hair to start with”!!!
Customer in Guru Boutique commented “what a lovely shop this is, have you just opened?” Guru’s Tony said “no, we’ve been open for forty three years, you maybe don’t live in Darlington?”. The lady looked surprised and replied “oh yes I do, but I don’t get to town much”!!!
She can say that again…
A very elderly gentleman and his equally elderly wife shuffled shakily with difficulty but dignity, into our shop to look at the cards. Finally, they chose one, and the gent slowly and carefully brought it over to us at the counter. “I like this one,” he said, “it has a naval connection”! The card was a bright and cheerful birthday one, with a nice design that had nothing at all to do with the sea, so Tony and I looked puzzled. The man then said with a twinkle in his eye, “turn it over and you will see what I mean”. We did as he said, and there on the back was printed ‘this card is by Belly Button Designs’!!! He well and truly got us…
