A kind customer called Caroline brought a box of Quality Street choccies in for us today as a Christmas pressie for all the Guru’s – when she’d gone Tony said “she must be ‘sweet Caroline’
Category Archives: Jokes, quotes & anecdotes
Smithy Sez: Skip to the loo…
Libby called into Guru today and mentioned she had woken up the other morning and skipped” barefoot into my bathroom only to find it was flooded due to the snow thawing.
Beryl said, “how on earth do you manage to skip anywhere when you’ve just got up?”
Tony butted in with “Libby always ‘skips to the loo, my darling!!!
Guru’s Gaffe’s: Small Change…
It’s definitely getting to us. Today in Guru Beryl counted some change out into a ladies hand, only trouble was she was paying with a credit card.
Then Tony tried to put a £20 note into the PDQ machine!!
Guru’s Giggles: Ladylike…
A lady buying crystals just enquired if we had a stone which would help her to find peace, tranquillity and the ability not to give a toss!!! :
12 December 2010 at 20:12 · Like ·
Beryl Maughan It’s definitely getting to us. Today in Guru Beryl counted some change out into a ladies hand, only trouble was she was paying with a credit card. Then Tony tried to put a £20 note into the PDQ machine!!
12 December 2010 at 20:11 · Like ·
Beryl Maughan My friend Libby called into Guru today and mentioned the fact that I’d posted on here that when I woke up the other morning I’d “skipped” barefoot into my bathroom only to find it was flooded due to the thaw… She said “how on earth do you manage to skip anywhere when you’ve just got up?” Tony butted in with “she always ‘skips to the loo my darling’!!!
Beryl’s Boobs: My Mistake…
A lady came to the counter carrying packs of Christmas cards and a patchwork back pack. Beryl took the cards off her, then reached for the bag, and opened the zip, as she wanted to unpack the filling from it.
The lady looked horrified, and then so did Beryl ‘cos instead of being full of bubble wrap, it contained the lady’s personal stuff, wallet etc.
“I bought that here last week” the poor customer protested.
After a shocked silence Beryl apologised, then they both saw the funny side, and ended up having to wipe tears of laughter from their eyes!
Beryl’s Boobs: S’now Fun…
A customer had battled through the snow to get to Guru. He came in all togged up to combat the weather, wearing a hooded parka covered in snow. Beryl said “you look like a snowman!” he said, “hang on while I take off this carrot covering my nose, and remove the two lumps of coal from my eyes…”
Kelly’s Quips: Handy…
Tony asked Kelly if she’d seen the pricing gun as he needed to use it and couldn’t find it, and she replied “yes it’s in your hand”!!!
Smiffy Sez: Funny Money…
We got some sparkling newly minted £1 coins from the bank today in Guru. Beryl said “Kelly you are so house proud that I bet you approve of these. You are the most cleanliness conscious person I know and I wouldn’t be surprised if you even clean your money”.
Tony commented “she probably even launders it”!!! 🙂
Kelly’s Quips: Owl!!!
A town pigeon tried to come into our shop today. Kelly said, “if I was reincarnated I wouldn’t like to come back as a scraggy pigeon!”
Tony said “no I’d rather come back as an owl,” to which Kelly retorted, “then you’d be a Tony owl, rather than a Tawny one”…
Good Vibes: Takes All Sorts…
A bloke we’ve nicknamed ‘man with a mission’ was in Guru yet again today. He walks in very purposefully, goes to the same shelves every time, never buys anything, then turns on his heel and walks out just as quickly as he comes in.
He’s not harming anyone and we always smile and try to make him feel welcome.
08 November 2010 at 21:27 · Like